


Falling In A Forest

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Everybody Lives, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light Angst, M/M, Nobody is Dead, Self-Harm, Swearing, Tree Bros, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 16:40:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11421960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When your soulmate feels pain, you feel it too.Connor has rarely felt pain that he hasn't inflicted on himself, so he assumes he doesn't have a soulmate;Until one day, when his entire left arm is surging with unbearable pain.The same day Evan Hansen jumps.





	1. Crestfallen

**Author's Note:**

> SOULMATE AU!!!!  
> in this au, when someone feels pain or is hurt, their soulmate feels it.

It was a pretty summer day, but instead of doing something outdoors like anyone else would, Connor Murphy was in his room with the lights off, the curtains closed, and eyes cast up to the ceiling.

"Zoe, Connor, Lunch!" Cynthia called, and Connor rolled his eyes hearing Zoe run downstairs. He tried to think of something to give him motivation to actually stand up, and he got it when his stomach rumbled.

He walked to the stairs and started walking down them, when he froze;

An unbelievable stinging pain surged through his left arm, enough to make his gasp loudly and fold in on himself at the bottom of the stairs.

"Fuck!" He groaned loudly, gripping his arm and wincing. He could feel his mom standing next to him trying to help but his entire body was hurting; his back, head, side, but the worst was the arm.

He felt tears well up in his eyes and his mom tried to lay him on the floor so he wasn't crumpled up.

"Connor where does it hurt," She asked softly, and he could barely process what she said.

"Fucking everywhere!" He stifled a sob in fear of looking even weaker than he does right now.

Connor thinks back to the lessons kinds got in school about soulmates. If you get hurt, your soulmate feels the pain. Connor always assumed he didn't have one; but now, the unexpected pain he was feeling, he knew he did.


	2. Opulent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It can't be real, him having a soulmate.
> 
> "Unlovable," Connor whispers, leaning back so he's almost laying down.
> 
> He's purely unlovable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING , this chapter involves hints of self harm! stay safe babes

"You're the fucking freak!"

In that moment, before the anger relapsed, when he shoved that fucking loser Evan Hansen on the ground, he got a familiar surging pain through his arm like he did during summer, and he gasps. He looks down at Evan and the two lock eye contact.

In that moment the two share something; neither of them can pin point what it may be, but it's something.

"Ow," Evan whimpers in pain and Connor feels like he's gonna choke. He quickly walks away, trying not to think about what that pain could mean; but in the back of his mind, he knows.

* * *

Evan is laying down reading when the first horrible pain in a while occurs.

A week after school starts he feels a sudden sharp pain in his thigh, and he grips the book he holds in his hands harder. He remembers this feeling, it's been happening for years.

"What the hell," He whimpers when the pain repeats, up and down both of his legs. "God please," He whispers to whoever might be causing it; he likes the idea that he'll find love in this spoiled soulmate system, but this was too terrible.

Eventually it ended in his legs but another surge happened along his wrist, it felt like someone was pinching his skin off.

Once it ended, Evan wiped his eyes. What could the other person be doing to pull that kind of excruciating pain?

When it finally dawned on him, all the articles and videos he's read about self harm and self mutilation, and suddenly he doesn't care about his own pain, he cares about his soulmate, who is out there hurting so badly they had to hurt himself physically.

* * *

 

Connor doesn't think to care;

He doesn't think when he hurts himself that someone else is feeling it.

Especially if his intuition about his soulmate is correct.

When he pushed Evan, he felt it.

He felt it.

Of course, it could be a coincidence, his mind argues, but he knows deep down it's not.

He refuses to think about it when he first starts self harming again, but after every time he imagines that sandy haired boy feeling it and Connor feels **awful.**

But it doesn't stop him from doing it again.

He wants to, god he wants to, he wants to stop, but over and over his mind says he deserves it, and the part of him that wants that goddamn boy to not feel pain gets blown over.

He's still secretly hoping Evan wasn't his soulmate. He can't control that, but the look on Evan's face when he shoved him, that haunted his mind when he cleaned of the cuts that covered his legs and arm.

"Fucking failure," He murmurs to himself, and thinks that next time he feels too angry or sad to function, he'll just gt high instead of cutting.

_You're a fuck up:_ His mind repeats, over and over until he's staring out the window, eyes stinging from staring.

Disassociation.

He feels like he's floating away, like he's no longer tethered to the orbiting rock everyone calls earth.

It can't be real, him having a soulmate.

"Unlovable," Connor whispers, leaning back so he's almost laying down.

He's purely unlovable.

* * *

 

"Evan! Hello!" Evan's head whipped up and he brought his hands up to twiddle his thumbs. Alana.

"Oh... Hi-"

"How are your grades?" She interrupts, and Evan feels his face flush.

"Wh- Um, Good?" He answers unsure of why Alana Beck is speaking to him.

"So you don't need any Academic help? Like tutoring?" She grins and bats her eyelashes like she's a child who knows there is candy. Evan shakes his head quickly and sniffs quietly.

"N-no I'm sorry," He trails off and she nods smiling and walking away with just a small 'have a nice day'.. That girl was **intimidating.**

"Evan hey!" A familiar voice calls, drawing out both words a ridiculous amount. Evan sighs quietly, already purely exhausted of human interaction.

"Jared hey," Evan responds, voice much less cheerful. "What-What do you need?" He asks, looking briefly into his eyes and then returning his gaze to the floor.

"Do you wanna come over? My parents wont be home for a week so we can drink or something," He offers, and Evan curses himself for not knowing how to say no.

"S-sure," He gulps, and Jared cheers, clasping him on the back harder than necessary. "When?" He asks in a small voice, and the male beside him makes a small hum.

"Saturday?" He asks, but it's more of a statement than a question. When he nods in confirmation Jared leaves and Evan's never been more relieved to have a conversation come to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment! (chapters will get longer, i just want to lead this up a bit)

**Author's Note:**

> this was a prologue!!leave a comment if i should continue pls i lack motivation sometimes


End file.
